Week 2: Excuse me...burn my what?

Have you ever seen that movie called "Read it and Weep" about the girl who accidentally turns in the file containing her online diary to her teacher instead of the file containing her homework? She became this like...super famous writer and everyone loved her and hated her all at the same time?  I remember.  And I also remember how from 6th to 9th grade I was so sure one day my diaries would accidentally be found and I would become a famous child author who wrote about her boy problems and how she wanted to light her homework on fire.  Yeah, that definitely did not happen.  All my diaries and journals starting from 6th grade now live in my Dad's garage.  I have a few that I keep in my room because they inspire me for my new and current writing (I have to say...I actually wrote and picture collaged some valuable stuff growing up.)

I DEFINITELY do not want to burn anything that I wrote in my journals while growing up.  I wrote all of it for a reason!! That is some valuable shtuff!!  I wrote through so many of the problems I encountered while growing up that I would love to show my future daughter.  I would love for her to see (or even my future son to be honest) what it took for me to get through my heartbreaks and trials in life.  I would like to think that some of the things I wrote could help her in someway. I know I would have loved to see what my mom put on her journal page titled "How to decorate my bedroom" or "winter outfit ideas." While I am okay with my future kids reading my personal thoughts (some of them...) I cannot imagine my family or friends ever reading them, and I definitely do not want to read their personal thoughts either.  If I have something to tell them.... I will... and hopefully they would do the same.  Reading someone's personal thoughts without their permission is NOT OKAY. That is some SERIOUS STUFF.  I definitely believe in karma and I am NOOOT about to put myself onto her path.  If someone wants me to know something, they will tell me.  I can live without some information, and if I am meant to know something, I will find out. On the contrary, I used to have a boyfriend that also loved to write.  And as introverts, a lot of our thoughts and feelings came out a lot better in writing than we could sometimes explain in person.  So when one of us was sad or insecure, we would run into the other room, grab our journal, flip to a certain page, and let the other person read all the emotional gushy things we thought about each other.  It was so lame.  But it felt nice to know exactly what someone thought about us in private.  

So I don't know... I guess maybe I will leave it to my future kids to decide if they want to throw away all my journals.  I don't think they will really be of value to anyone after my kids...and I doubt they want to haul those around all their lives.  However, this may sound self centered but I maybe possibly think with a lot lot lot (A LOOOOT) of editing, I could maybe compile enough decent journal entries to create a small book about getting through heartbreak as an middle aged girl.  In high school, I was definitely boy obsessed.  I have lot of "good morning diary I LOVE CAMERON" entries that are followed by "GOOD NIGHT DIARY I F****** HATE CAMERON I WANNA DIE."  I mean... that could be edited into a comical coming of age story.... right...?  

(Jamie Bartlett and Conner Kennedy from Read it and Weep. Remember?)