Week 2: Saved from the Flames

I just bought a journal earlier this week, and even though I have yet to start writing in it, I can’t imagine ever burning it. If someone wants to read my journal after I am long gone, I say: All the power to them. I think the reason I might feel this way is because I am a pretty private person. I know sounds backwards since you’d think a private person would be more guarded about something as intimate as a journal but allow me to explain. Maybe because I am such a private person, there are some things about myself that I will not be willing to put into writing, but rather keep for my mind alone. I’m not saying that my journal will not be personal and include moments in my life that I would rather keep to myself. I just do not think I could write something in a journal that would bother me if someone were to read it after I am gone. In fact, I hope if someone does decide to read my private writing in the distant future that they are able to learn or reminisce about my experiences in life.

When I was younger, I read a couple entries in my sister’s diary. At first, I remember feeling a little bit empowered. I knew these secrets that nobody knows, and what was even better was that my sister didn’t even know that I knew. However, I am not exaggerating when I say that this feeling went away as soon as I set down that diary. After that, I just felt plain guilty because I invaded her privacy. I realized there was a reason why she kept these thoughts to herself, and I wanted to forget everything. Needless to say, I never read from her diary again.

Just as how I did not like reading my sister’s private writing, I wouldn’t like her or anyone else reading mine while I am still alive. The reasoning is knowing that after people read these thoughts, ideas, dreams, or whatever it is that I will write about, they will be able to look me in the eye afterward knowing this information. Therefore, I plan on keeping my new journal to myself for now, but when I’m no longer here, I give those close to me full permission to do whatever they want with it (especially my sister since I feel like I kind of owe it to her).